How to cope with break ups in love relationship
People getting into love relationships envision a lifetime of togetherness with joy, happiness and cooperation at its helm for years to come. But a relationship involves two minds which soon display diversity of thoughts which are bound to cause disagreements. This should be expected in the best of relationships and one should always be ready to cope with it.
However, this does not happen always because the ego in a person rises above a relationship, at times even in petty matters, eventually causing breakups. A breakup of a love relationship may lead to a lifetime of dejection and depression for one or both partners. One should learn how to cope up with the situation, overcome it and get on with a new relationship if one so desires, more experienced this time.
- Agree with the decision: The couple should think several times over before the decision of breaking up their relationship for good. Once a firm decision is taken, they should not go back on it. One should bring him/herself to agree with the decision and bring oneself to terms with the new situation of his/her life. The time they spent together should be put behind their minds. It is a difficult thing to do but it can be achieved with some good effort put into it.
- Cry out, and word the feelings on paper: It is a well-known fact of psychology that crying out one’s emotions helps in putting back one’s life together. It is better to cry out loud than soft sobs. Writing down one’s feelings adds to the sum effect of crying.
- Do not have guilt feeling about it: Guilt is likely to pull a person into depression; s/he may even be pushed over the edge to take his/her own life. Therefore, it is best not to let guilt feeling overcome a person involved in a relationship breakup.
- Keep self-esteem in the forefront: The ‘broken’ partner should not feel dictated by the other partner or the people around that s/he is ‘good for nothing’. One should never let emotions of dejection take over one’s self-esteem. It is alright to accept responsibility for any shortcoming or mistakes but s/he should realize that the other partner is as responsible for the breakup.
- Control hate, anger and resentment: It is but natural after a breakup to be angry with the partner involved. One tends naturally to hate the other and even resent thoughts of him/her. It is best to control and overcome these feelings because these affect one’s health in the long run.
- Never opt for revenge: The first thought that comes after one is over with a relationship is to take revenge on the other person because of the rejection factor. Best is to overcome such thoughts as these will further drag a person into the past, preventing him/her from moving on in life.
- Forgive the partner: Forgiveness is the healing balm to one’s mind and health.
- Share the situation with friends: It is good to share what one is going through with his/her trustworthy friends. This helps unload the stress off one’s mind providing the much-needed lighter moments. They may even give good advice and suggestions.
- Reconnect with family members: It is a matter of great relief and joy for the broken-hearted person to find his/her family members very understanding and loving inspite of him/her making a mess of a relationship.
- Take time to heal: After a relationship has been called off, the broken-hearted person should not be hasty to get into a new relationship just to prove that s/he is a likeable person or to boost self-esteem. One should take time to come to grips with the situation. The mind is comforted by friends and family but the reality of the situation needs to be analyzed. This helps in not making the same mistakes, being choosier and wiser about the next relationship.
- Connect with hobbies: Hobbies divert the torn mind and gradually bring healing to it. One may even study a new course to keep the mind occupied with constructive matters.
- Visit the gym:Exercise are said to be a great contributor towards healing after a break-up. It rejuvenates the mind and the body, refreshing them both.
- Remove relationship triggers: Beside the mind being diverted from the broken relationship, objects which bring back its memories should be removed out of sight and totally discarded.
- Read books and journals: Reading books and journals about broken relationships helps the partner to identify with the writers who have also faced such a situation, and shows ways of taking right actions, avoiding harmful effects on their health.
- Move on in life: Never sit back and brood over ‘spilt milk’. Once s/he is composed and got over the situation, s/he should go ahead in life doing what they want to do even entering into a new relationship, the wiser this time.