Is it Love or Infatuation - Find Out
People can easily say to their partner, 'I love you', but by their actions and reactions, one can judge whether what is said is really true or just infatuation. When truly in love, one means what s/he says and assures their partner of their love for them through their sacrificial actions and behaviour; on the other hand, if it is infatuation, the strong emotional words ‘I love you’ lose their charm by the superficiality of their behaviour which is invariably self-centred (and gets revealed sooner or later).
Romance is not a necessity for a relationship to flourish. In other words, it is a wrong concept which is rampant all over the world that, first, romance is a prerequisite for a long lasting, happy and a truly loving relationship and, secondly, it comes only through dating. Nothing could be far from the truth. Through overly romance in a relationship, many couples have experienced broken hearts and disastrous effects on their relationships just because they dwelt under a wrong concept. At this juncture, it should be understood that for any relationship to be strong and to last long, much effort needs to be put in by both the partners. True love has no romantic or physical aspects to it; instead it stands on the acceptance of one another through thick and thin of life whether good or bad.
The couple in love does not compare their partner with others around or with those in a relationship. Where there is such comparison, and becomes repetitive, this is a sure sign that the relationship is based on infatuation. True love accepts the partner just as s/he is, no strings attached. True love is patient with his/her partner and is kind and their relationships are long lasting; there maybe infatuation initially but it soon wears off.
One should keep a check regularly on their relationship whether it has love as its stronghold or whether it is only infatuation. In love, the two can be together just sharing their views and experiences where touching, sex or kissing are not necessarily present but when there is infatuation, they are a necessity. The deep desire for physical connect is a very obvious aspect of a relationship rooted in infatuation.
There is no forgiveness in infatuation whereas in love, the partner tolerates all and forgives all. S/he will go out of his/her way to make the other partner comfortable and happy in spite of the partner making a drastic mistake or insulting him/her before others or even in privacy. Correction is done with the other person’s feelings in mind and so with gentleness which is part of the love they share; they do not shame or embarrass the other in any way.
If a partner is treated as an object to gratify his/her personal desires rather than a human being who should be honoured and respected, then that defines infatuation.
If in a relationship, when there are disagreements and quarrels that are frequent and one has to keep facing them and keep making up, when there are repeated hurts and criticism, then that is not love; it is a relationship with infatuation at its centre. If, while already in a relationship, one desires to go along with another person, then the relationship has no love, but infatuation. When in love, the two individuals feel free to express themselves to one another and are completely open and honest with one another. In infatuation, one has to be careful with their words and expressions so as not to hurt the other person or make him/her jealous.
In a love relationship, both the partners are givers; they are not selfish but always give priority to the needs and happiness of the other partner, sacrificing their own or giving it secondary importance. In infatuation, selfishness is obvious and the attitude is just the opposite; each of the individuals gives priority to his/her own self before the other person. In a love relationship, each partner thinks of the other one as part of their lives and cannot think of a life without them. Where there is infatuation, they are not serious with the relationship and want to end it at the smallest spark of anger and unsatisfied selfishness. Their tolerance quotient for each other is low. In infatuation, though one may be intimate in the relationship, there are questions and doubts racing in the minds about the other partner proving that they lack confidence in him/her. They are really not at ease in their relationship whereas when in love, the two are confident of one another; with a mature understanding, they overlook the imperfections of the other and they are always by the side of their lover anytime s/he needs them.
Love builds up. It is never demanding about its desires instead elevates the other partner more than his/her own self. It makes the other person improve in their personality and outlook to life. Love does not keep a relationship at the level of just a relationship but builds it up into friendship and that too with a commitment. Infatuation stays at the level of a relationship with no commitments; it is so flimsy that it can break off at the shortest notice.
