I was in love with a girl 20 years back. after a few years of love making we decided to get married. there was no objection from our side. but as usual her father was not for our marriage. she came to my house and fixed a date for marriage. she asked me to buy wedding sarees etc and everything was ready. The fateful day came. but she never turned up. I was shattered. one day we went to her house to discuss the issue and she cooly said that she will marry another person as per her parents wish. those words literally killed me. finally she got married with another person and now staying abroad. with a broken heart i too got married and slowly started to forget the past. inner feelings started killing me day by day and i lost all my courage, mental, physical strength etc. my fate doesn't leave me with that. after a long 20 years gap the unfortunate moment came in my life. recently i saw her in facebook and that's the end of my life. all my feelings which were bundled in side my shattered heart started coming out and for the past few weeks the thoughts about her is fully absorbing my mind each and every second. i lost my sleep. my heart is paining. i lost all my strength. i am not able to concentrate in my work. i am finding it very difficult to act as a normal person at home. i am afraid that i have become mentally unstable. i am not able to share this with any of my friends or family members. i know that there is no use in thinking about her as we can never become together. i am longing for her to speak to me which will soothen my heart. i am not willing to send her a facebook message as she might get disturbed. even if i send her a message to add her to my friends whether she will accept the same or not really worries me and i cant' withstand if she refuses to answer me or accept my friend invitation. i want her to live a peaceful and happy life eventhough she has ruined my life. i am totally confused. every now and then i go to face book and type some stupid love failue lyrics in my notes like a mad man. i am getting different types of feelings like affection towards her, anger about her that after spoling me she is leading a happy life somewhere which provokes me to try and contact her hubby and tell him the fact. but my character advices me to keep quiet and not to disturb her life. i don't know whether i will recover from the present situation. she is repeatedly absorbing my mind each and evey milli second. i tried meditation but then her thoughts interfere. i pray to God that no one should suffer like me.
12 years ago