When to Break Up?
Two individuals concerned in the making of a relationship do so because they find mutual love, satisfaction and peace in each other’s company. Both of the two who came together in a relationship are equally responsible to keep it going. There may be some upheavals from time to time but they should be mature enough to tackle the problem and restore the relationship. If both or either of them is immature in his/her thinking and attitude, the relationship will begin to crumble and soon come crashing down.
When both or one of the partners thinks that it is time to quit, they must not take hasty steps towards breaking what they built up. One should find a lonesome place, away from the crowd and even from the partner to think rationally about the situation and whether the relationship should be called off or allowed to continue. Many find themselves in a dilemma to take a drastic decision of splitting up only because they are emotionally involved with their partners. But there is definitely a time when it is right to call it quits. Trouble is looming if timely action is not taken.
Here are some signs in a relationship which indicate that it is wise not to continue with a relationship and its time to break up.
A boy/girl may observe that his/her partner has begun to make excuses of not meeting each other and/or going out together. It is no longer like the initial days when s/he could not stay without him/her and always longed to meet at the shortest notice. There is a slack in phone calls, emails, text messages; the girl no longer gets flowers from her boyfriend. Moreover, if the interested partner calls, the disinterested one prefers not to take the call and ignore all means of communication from him/her totally. This attitude may not be abrupt but is noticed to wind down slowly. There is no longer any effort made to move away from the crowd to be alone with each other like going to events, watching a movie together or going out for a picnic and even plans to go to a romantic getaway. On the other hand, the disinterested partner sits at home watching the TV or busy on the internet. Even when the two meet, there is not much to talk about and share with each other. If one partner observes his/her relationship failing and wants to keep it alive, s/he may ask him/her for their new sprung absurd behaviour. The other partner generally gives little or no response because s/he is no longer interested to keep the relationship; s/he may go on to put all the blame on the asking partner.
In brief, slack in communication is the first indication of a failing relationship and one should keep observing the other important factors which will together indicate that it is time to break up the relationship.
The two who were once in love and overlooked each other’s shortcomings, now argue about every little mistake or shortcoming of the other; they shout and unleash their anger on one another. They no longer want to say kind words to each other or forgive each other. Every little gesture of the other is misinterpreted and seen as an attempt to belittle the other partner. They no longer find each other’s jokes humorous; any joke made may be misinterpreted as aimed at him/her and thus the quarrel gets flared up. They simply resent each other’s presence and compare others’ partners with him/her. Since they know each other’s weaknesses, physically or otherwise, they try to highlight them in the effort to make the other partner think that s/he is now good for nothing. They lose regard and respect for one another; they may even go ahead and share their partner’s weaknesses with their other friends and jeer at them. Such change in behaviour of the partner asks for a breakup of the relationship.
When they had first fallen in love, they were so involved with each other that they could not visualize the rest of their lives without their partner. Therefore, they used to talk of their future together and make plans for the same. All that they had dreamt of about a life together, they visualized it as already materialized with the relationship. They would talk about the location where they would build their home after marriage, where they would send their children for schooling, where they would take up a job and the like. But when a relationship begins to crumble, the two partners avoid talking about their future altogether because now their interests differ and they no longer think of a life spent together. This is to be observed so as to consider breaking up the relationship.
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