Identifying Time for Breaking Up? When to Break Up

Continuation of the article When To Break Up? from previous page

An aggressive boy may still be thinking of spending his life with his girlfriend though he abuses her physically, verbally and/or even psychologically. Any girl, who feels that she is being abused by her boyfriend, should immediately think of breaking off the relationship even if she deeply loves him. She must take the hint of abuse when he hits her, shouts at her, talks to her rudely even in front of his/her friends and belittles her.

He may be manipulative and jealous and try to control her and she may even be threatened in some way. For example, he may get very annoyed if the girl went out partying or shopping with her girlfriends without informing him, and so threaten to call off their relationship. If the girl no longer feels safe with her boyfriend, it is wise to leave him as matters will not change in the future even if he vows to change. Such change may only be temporary; his basic nature will return to harass the girl. This applies also to a manipulative girl who may try to control her boyfriend and try to blackmail him from time to time.

An overbearing partner may even manipulate by exploiting him/her financially by putting the financial load of earning on the other partner refusing to share in it, or is a spendthrift and refuses to mend his/her ways; s/he may even be jealous of his/her partner earning more than him/her. This is more applicable to the boy. S/he no longer waits to have or consider her/his opinion and prefers to do things at his/her whims and fancy. Such a relationship cannot go on for very long and it is better to split-up.

A partner, who was faithful at the beginning of a relationship, now is seen to cheat on his/her partner. Once discovered, it is an indication that all is not well in their relationship. One may overlook one small episode of unfaithfulness and try to mend the relationship but one should keep a track of his/her partner from that time onwards. If s/he is still found unfaithful at another instance, then there is no charm in continuing the relationship.

Addiction to drugs and/or alcohol can be a factor which one should consider for a break up of a relationship. If s/he mends his ways it is good, otherwise, it is better to quit than to suffer a lifetime of drug abuse and alcohol with their sordid effects on the mentally sound partner.

It will be good if the person planning to break off with his/her partner keeps a record of the changing behaviour of the partner towards the negative. The record should have the time when it started, if it was triggered by the partner or by his/her own self, whether it is just a onetime misbehaviour or is it repetitive, is the frequency increasing, how is the psychology of the observant partner affected, is he bruised mentally (and maybe physically too), how is her/his behaviour with others around whether it is harsh as with her/him or better with them. Such a record helps the partner to keep track of things over a period of time and helps the person to sort out matters with a clearer mind so that s/he can take a proper decision. If the offended partner finds him/her –self miserable with the offending partner and if they no longer share in common goals in life, or if the communication gap between them is widening and if the frequency of negative behaviour by the offending partner is increasing or is status quo, it is better to call it quits.

When they find matters heated up in their relationship, if the offending partner does not listen to any advice or to reform his/her-self; if all efforts have been made to reconcile and keep the relationship intact but it does not work, then it is wiser to call off the relationship because if continued it will be a simmering relationship ready to catch fire sooner or later in the time to come. One’s life is too precious to be sacrificed on someone else’s whims and fancies who has no regards for another person’s liberty in a relationship. In the long run, the break up will be beneficial for the suffering individual.