Are we just friends?

8 years ago

(1)I am 15 years old and I just started my first year in high school. I REALLY LOVE a guy from 12th grade who's 18 and he's so cute and treats me as if I am his own sister.
He sometimes tickles me, hugs me from the back, pokes me, touches my arms or shoulders or hands and even kissed my hand once(he never does it again after I said “yuck“, which I was sorry to have said so. He even went from his city to mine in order to join my band! We are really good friends and we really call each other brother/sister.
I ma SO INTO him.
He and I had once discussed with this: I try to let him know my feelings for him by asking if he likes me and he understood! BUT he said that IT'S NOT WORTH FOR ME TO BE WITH HIM since HE'S TOO OLD FOR ME. Though he said that he likes me a lot and I am special and all kind of stuffs.
Was he just comforting me, or he only feel me as a really good friend. Or does he have any feelings for me?
Please help.
(2)These days, the guy, William, that I am so into, starts doing something that might make me think a different way.
He had once asked me, “You don't love me, right?“ in a kind of joking but also kind of sad way when we were solving a problem(that was a time when we had a fight but actually it was just me who thought too much). This was after a week or so I told him I love him.
And there was a time when we were having fun and he used his jacket to cover my head that I couldn't breathe or talk. He laughed.
Another time was when he use his hand to hug me from the back, and another one was he used his arm to grab my neck and placed with my hair.
I don't know.
According to my first question and this question, is there ant signs that might tell that he feels the same?
Please help. I am so confused.
(3)Yesterday, we were photo-shooting for the year book and I wore a mini-skirt which I hate so much.
When I was returning to my school uniform, William appeared(actually I called his name, but I didn't want him to see). He looked at me and said “it's sexy“ in a way that I don't understand.
After school, he jumped onto the bus and shared a umbrella with my friend(this is not the first time, the first time I was jealous but this time is fine, I think). He told my friend, Victoria that I wore mini-skirt. Then this morning I asked her what did he say. She told me that he said that “She wore a mini-skirt and it was yuck.“ I asked Victoria that in what way he said so(the tone and the voice), she told me he said that in a annoyed/impatient way(what?!). I don't know if she's just telling the truth or what?
Because I think William shouldn't be this kind of person that talk behind people's back and he's really nice to me . . . Is there a possibility that William actually hates me or dislikes me but just hide it and act nice?
I don't think he is this kind of person myself . . .
(4)I admit that what my aunt said was right. Maybe the way he gets alone with girls is that he'll act like a big brother, hug you, play with you, but not in a LOVE YOU way. Like, this evening before we left the school, he said that he wanted to throw me down the stairs. Then before I can even figured out what happened, he hugged me and carried me. Since I was afraid and tried not to fall down from him, I encircled his neck and it was a really embarrassing movement. :( My aunt said that he just thinks of me as a normal friend, since he's still young(18), too that he couldn't control himself and didn't know what kind of movements would make girls think more. She said that he must has done this kind of thing to many girls, too. So my aunt said that he's not my type and if I be with him I will become really aware of his friendship with other girls and I will be really if he has cheated on me.
We were at a secret place with no one there but cameras(the school tries to avoid teen love relationship). Then we stared discussed about the ways that people can make over without being caught by the cameras. Then he suddenly told me, “When you are 12th grade and have a boyfriend, you can try doing something fun with him without getting caught.“ Will any boy who likes the girl tells that girl this kind of thing “When you have a boyfriend“? After all he still sees me as his little sister?
(5)This evening before school, William and I went to the gym and had a short talk.
I sat really close to him but he pulled me away gently(?) and said that, “I am not being mean, but if you are so close we look like boyfriend and girlfriend, and someone might start talking about us(I told him that I hate it when people say we are together . . . so is this protecting me or avoiding me?)
He suddenly asked me about the “choir boy“(on the phone call when we just knew each other for two months, I said that I seemed to like two guys, and I mentioned a boy from my choir but I had also kind of told him I like him . . . if you don't know what I am talking about please see my other questions, thanks). William asked me if I still like the “cute guy in the choir“ he said. I told him no(the only one I like is him after all). Then he said, “I am scared.“ with a way kind of like worry then I asked him why. He said nothing but looked at me for a second, then said, “I feel kind of pity that you have no one to love.“ I didn't look into his eyes, just said, “I do.“ but I didn't tell him who it is.
Since this conversation was too weird and all kind of stuff, I started playing with my shoes then I tied my both shoes together but I couldn't untie them. So he took my foot and put them on his legs, started helping me(but he couldn't untie it either, ha ha).
So I am just wondering how he feels of me?
On the phone call when we just knew each other for two months, he said that he's too old for me. Probably because he wasn't interested in me, or he didn't want me to get hurt since he's leaving for college soon. But now it's almost half a year and I start wondering if he changes his mind.
Please help I am dying . . .
(6)Learning, trying to give him some space. He said, he has his only group of friends; he said, he is always by the guy and talks to him all the time, he can't just ignore because it will be really mean; he said, sometimes, people need some spaces, they need some time with others; he said, if I just keep appearing, his heart will keep sinking since we have nothing to say in a so short time and every time I appear he thinks that he must say something; he said, he can't be my boyfriend. I said, I said . . . “I am sorry“; I said, “Thank you“, thank you for teaching me, for telling me your true feelings; I said “I love you“ inside my soul.
Does he hate me . . .
(7)These days I kind of find out that he keeps doing something weird like . . .
When we talked about the “space“ thing, he suddenly said “and I can't be your boyfriend . . .“ in the conversation.
When we were sitting in the gym he suddenly asked me if I still like another boy . . .
Yesterday during our phone talk, he suddenly said that he's sorry that it's always ME who call and he said that it wasn't that he doesn't want to call me(why did he SUDDENLY say so?) . . .
He asked me if I am disappointed or what since I look sad(but I DIDN'T!) and he said that he hopes that I am happy every day . . . He said that I AT LEAST act happy in front of him.
What happened to him?
(8)He and I had a conversation this noon.
He HAD LUNCH with me(he just stopped by my table and started eating with me).
He and I talked about his applying to college, and some school stuffs . . .
Then he suddenly asked me WHAT HAPPEN since he THOUGHT that I was unhappy(why is that?!). Then he told me that he HEARD from someone that people in my grade don't like me. I asked him who told him so, but he just MADE up a name.
Then he said that MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE I KEEP BEING WITH HIM BUT NOT OTHER GIRLS, and he said that every time I am at school walking I am always alone(that's just because I don't want to talk to others). Does the part that I capitalized(the last sentence ) means that he thinks I am TOO ANNOYED?
He also wanted me to TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED, he kept asking me, and then I said “if you have time“. He said “I have time right now“ but I just replied that nothing happened . . .
Does he really want to help?
Does he care about me?
Does he hate me?
(9)William and I also had a conversation about college stuff as I told at my last question.
We talked about which college he had applied.
And he suddenly told me that he had also applied to my dream university, Stanford!
I said that like, “If we can be at the same school, it will be cool!“ Then he replied, “You know what, by the time you're in college, it'll be my last year there(is there any special meaning here?). And, you'll become a HOT GIRL and wear MINI-SKIRT EVERY DAY(does that mean something here?).
MINI-SKIRT?! What was he thinking . . .
(10)Again, it's about him, William.
Today, I lost oxygen, so my ears started turning red. Then he asked me if I am alright, I told him I'm fine. I told him it was just losing some oxygen. Then he said that he had never have this kind of experience before(it's quite normal isn't it, I mean, ears turning red?) so he started touching by ears with he hands. Awkwardly, I kind of like that feeling when he touched me. But he's not my boyfriend, we aren't together (if you don't know what I am talking about please see my other questions) . . .
He . . .
I . . .
I don't know. I kind of just need some advice of this event, not really asking anything, ha.
(11)As I had said from my other questions, you can see that I am totally crazy of him. And I also mentioned some of his behaviors when we are together.
Recently, he will use his hand to mess up my hair, hug me and put his arm around my necks. When we talk . . . since I usually talk in a low voice, he always places his face near me and lots of time his cheek touches mine.
Yesterday when we had lunch, his rice was across from the food he just finished eating. It seemed like his hand was too far from the section which he had his rice in it so I turned his plate and made the rice part faced him. But the plate was a little bit askew so I moved it a little bit. He had a kind of emotion on his face but I couldn't read it so I guess he thought that I was too “busybody“. Then I wrote an apologizing letter to him, I wrote, “sorry for the lunch time stuff, you must think I am . . .“. Since every time when I think I did something wrong, I always say sorry(it's only me thinking that I might do something wrong, maybe he doesn't think so), he told me, “Don't say sorry all the time, it makes me feel like sh*t.“ I don't really get the meaning of this sentence, but I didn't ask. Then again, when I called him at night yesterday, I said SORRY again! Then he replied, “it was fine. it's cool. it's interesting. don't worry about that.“ What happened between us?
Sometimes I thought that he is looking at me, but maybe that's just my imagination? Every time when I call him, he always sounds so happy. He even thanked me for calling yesterday and said that he really likes to talk with me! I don't think I can stand this . . . Is he seeing me as his little sister, a good friend, or thing else? I wonder . . . Need some advice. I have a big headache on this problem ever since he and mine friendship started growing firmer and better. :( Thanks.

Basically I am just describing those things that happened between us up there. I really need some help. What do you think he thinks of me? Or any advice? :(

P.S.: Yesterday was the last day for school and we hugged each other and he kissed my HEAD/HAIR! What?!

I think I just want some advice for these events and probably see if he likes me, too. We don't need to be together. I am just afraid to ask . . . Are we just friends?

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- JULIUS TREVOR» Love Quotes

Love Poem - BROKEN

Author: BABYGIRL★★
You grabbed my heart and shreeded to pieces.
You grabbed my dreams, threw them to the
ground and stompped it to pieces. I gave you
my heart, no questions asked. you took it,
played with it and threw it out at some ...(Cont.)